'Tis The Season To Buy Toys

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I have a really good start on holiday shopping this year. Honestly, I do most of my shopping online at this point - I rarely have the time or energy to shop in a store these days, and if I do, it's a day that gets planned a long time in advance, like my standing Black Friday outlet date with my sister. I could opt out of shopping that day, but the deals are great, and we have a nice time together.

This will be my first Christmas as a parent, and so instead of just buying toys and clothes for neices and nephews, I get to fill a stocking, play Santa, and the whole 9 yards for my own child. Yes, I'm aware that, at 10 months old she won't know the difference between a toy from Santa or from Mommy & Daddy, and the wrapping paper is sure to be the hit of the day. Humor me. I love to make traditions, and family Christmas traditions are ones I've looked forward to making for a long time.

This year, I decided to buy only North American and/or European-produced toys that met pretty exacting standards of child safety. Not only do I want to support smaller, specialized toy producers if I can, but I think that european toys are typically really cool. Much nicer than the plastic-y junk I see at Toys R' Us.

So I've put a lot of time and effort into finding neat toys from some pretty cool places at reasonable prices. Here's my list for those of you who have a White Christmas on the brain despite the hot, humid August we're having.

1. I like wooden toys for kids. Real wood blocks and pull toys are my favorites (note: anything that doesn't require batteries is a plus in my book). http://www.northstartoys.com/ has some really neat rolly animals and push toys. Plus the prices are very reasonable. Two snaps up for this family-owned business in New Mexico.

2. For about the best selection of neat stuff I've seen yet http://www.moolka.com/ wins hands down. Lots of european toys of the nifty sort one doesn't see too often in brick-and-mortar stores. I was especially impressed with their building blocks and stacking toy selection. 4 snaps in a z formation for this site.

3. Similar to MoolKa, the Oompa Toy Store is great. I thought their prices were sometimes a little higher than MoolKa, but they didn't have as much out of stock. http://www.oompa.com/

4. If you like toy trucks, check out the wood ones at http://www.dandmewoodtoys.com/. They have a great selection, along with pull toys and other cool stuff. Their prices are a bit high, but the Klickity Klacker Push Toy is only $39.95, and was chosen by 'Baby Talk' magazine as one of their toys of the year. I love it.

5. Last but not least on my list is http://www.childtrek.com/. Their toys are cool, they are green, and they have a good list of toys under $30.

Happy Holidays...er...summer.

Getting Less Spendy

I've been pretty spendy recently. Some of it has been spending that was planned, but postponed until I returned to work, like replacing my car, flooring for our entryway, and a new grill now that the end of season deals are good.

Some of the rest is holiday and birthday related. I'm well on my way to done shopping with the 7 autumn and winter birthdays that fall between now and the end of the year, as well as quite a few holiday gifts, including for my daughter. Which will feel great when everyone is crowding into the malls in December.

Then there were the costs of hosting 30 people for Kiera's christening party a couple weeks ago, parking costs in Boston, and various other ancillary expenses.

But there was also the clothes I bought for Kiera (let's just say I don't particularly want to add up the total) for winter and sale stuff for next summer. And trips to Dunkin Donuts with my new coworkers, along with a few lunches here and there.

Add it all together, and it's a lot - and I do mean a lot - of spending.

I'm officially spent out, I think. There's more coming - due to a water leak, we have to gut our bathroom in the next few weeks, and we really can't salvage anything. And of course, there's the day to day stuff - tolls, groceries, gas, drycleaning. We have to fill our heating oil tanks this month as well, and that's never cheap.

But aside from the unavoidable, I'm done for a while. A long while.

For clarification, we still have plenty of savings, no credit card debt, and balance the budget. But I don't particularly enjoy overspending. It leaves me with a vaguely icky feeling, like when you eat that second large slice of cake because you want it, not because you have room.

So why did I? A few reasons. For Kiera, it's very important to me that she's well dressed. Maybe because I really wasn't when I was growing up, maybe because, given how much time and medical intervention it took to have her, it's likely she's an only child and I feel like I can spoil her. Probably a combination. Still, parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint, and I need to ease off the gas pedal.

But I think in the bigger picture, I was spending because I felt, for the first time in years, flush and secure. For almost 4 years I was an independent consultant - often contracted month by month, and if I didn't work, I didn't get paid. Now, while still a consultant, I'm an official employee of a firm, with paid time off, and a level of job security. I still have to work to build the business, but the level of risk and insecurity has dropped off significantly. And that has felt pretty good...maybe too good. "Whoopee we can spend again" has never led me to my best moments. Being more frugal and creative has.

The problem with spending is that it breeds more spending. And for someone likes me, who loves to shop - and probably always will - continual shopping just makes it harder to stop. So sometimes I need to pull the plug and just stop entirely. It's the financial version of a reset button for me. And it works.

So it's time to reboot, go through the budget, make sure lunches are packed every night before work, and grab the free coffee at work instead of Dunkin Donuts. I'm not beating myself up - but I'm not giving myself much free reign either.

So maybe getting spent out was good. Now I can focus on other stuff.

The Money Vs. Time Equation

I've always been one of those 'why would I pay someone if I don't have to?" kind of people. I want the inexpensive option. And I'd rather spend the time - to make dinner, to wash my own car, and so on - than spend money for the same thing. For me, the time vs. money equation was always summed up as spend the time, save the money.

But sometimes I realize I can't spend the time. And whatever it is that I don't have time for is just as valuable to me as the money it will cost to pay for it. And so then my time vs. money equation reverses to spend the money, save the time.

On one level, I really hate it when that happens. Because it inevitably involves some kind of upscaling of our lifestyle, and a larger proportion of our income becoming outgo.

But I try to recognize that sometimes there's no good option but to shell out. So this month, we took two big plunges - a parking spot for me in Downtown Boston, around the corner from where I work, and a twice-monthly housekeeper. Neither are cheap. In the event of need, both could be done away with (okay, so I wouldn't literally do away with my housekeeper, she's actually very nice). But both grant me tremendous quality of life.

A few weeks ago, our house was complete chaos. Piles of stuff and paper had bred in the dark corners of the various rooms. Laundry hadn't been put away in quite some time, making getting dressed in the morning a unique challenge if, say, my husband needed some socks. And we were spending the weekends trying to stay on top of it.

So in comes Nicole, our housekeeper/magician. She started last Thursday. Our house gleamed after her arrival. I practically danced with glee. Good spend? Oh, yes. Going throug my head was: "Why didn't I do this years ago?" I don't know..something vague about saving money and using it on more practical items. Who knows what I meant by that.

The parking space came about after I realized that I couldn't keep up my previous commute that included: driving to a parking spot(15 min), walking to the train station (15 min) and taking a train (34 minutes), then a subway line(10-30 minutes). All that commuting, plus wait times took it's toll on me even before I had a child. Now that I have a baby to pick up, and no direct way to work on public transportation, I drive. Is it the environmental choice? No. Nor is it the frugal choice. But for now, it's the best choice.

I don't love shelling out the money for these luxuries each month. But until our lives shift to a point where time and sleep aren't at a premium, they'll stay.

And I'm going to enjoy my nice clean bathrooms immensely, thank you very much.

Parenthood 5 months in

This past week, Baby MoneyPenny was 5 months old. In some ways, those weeks and months have passed in an eye blink. In others, it may well have been years. It's hard to remember what life was like without our daughter - it seems like she's always been here.

The first few weeks were pricey - she came a bit early, so we weren't totally ready (although at 38 weeks along, probably should have been). It felt like every day my husband made a new run to Babies R Us. Starting to burn through our savings - even for it's intended purpose - was tough. For the first few weeks we burned through diapers at an alarming rate - we held off on the cloth diapers until we got adjusted and I healed from my surgery, and now we use a mix of cloth and paper. 

We didn't buy a lot of baby gear up front. Since every baby likes different things, we waited until we knew what we would use. The baby swing and bumbo seat were both great spends. The swing buys me 20 minute stretches of free hands, which is miraculous for a new parent.  

Since she loved the swing at my sister's house, we ended up getting the same one for home. You don't mess with what works when you are trying to get some downtime.

I had also refrained from buying a lot of clothes before she was born. Hand me downs and gifts made up her wardrobe for the first weeks of life, and after that I started shopping. I've bought both retail and second-hand, and will probably continue to do both. But as I find more secondhand sources of clothes, and  yard sale season continues, I hope that retail purchases will be to supplement gaps, rather than to be her primary source of outfits. But buying her cute outfits is fun, and I suspect we will sometimes succumb to temptation. Sale stuff though.

I went back to work part-time early, and began supplementing with formula. She ended up requiring an expensive formula because of some food sensitivities - and eventually I had to wean her.  Formula runs about $280 a month. Insurance now reimburses us for it, but it's a pretty big outlay every month while we wait for the money back.  

Severe reflux and a milk protein allergy sent us to the doctor and ER , and eventually a pediatric GI specialist multiple times. Copays and prescriptions have cost a couple hundred dollars thus far. This was far more than we bargained for.

But other than the surprises of some small medical costs, and some gear we hadn't bought up front, like the baby monitor, swing, pack n' play, and so on, the biggest cost (and one we planned for) is child care.  It's worth it though - our child is loved and well cared for at my sister's home.   That and the fact that we're finally probably going to indulge in a housekeeper 2x a month, since working has made it near-impossible to keep up.  I've managed to keep the house relatively clean, but that means that all attempts at organization and other projects have fallen by the wayside.  Which means our dining room now looks like the local dead letter office, with piles of paper breeding in the corners.  I can't manage it all, and my husband's chores focus around yard work and the projects we need done, like finishing the shelves in my daughter's closet.

So working parenthood is pricey, I'll admit.  I'm happy to be back to work, and I do like my job, despite missing my daughter.  I am lucky, she was almost 5 months when I finally went back full-time, and I get a day a week to work from home.   Every expense has been worth it.  

Still, I'd recommend to new parents to get as much second-hand as you can.  The $7 fill-a-bag sale clothes from The Children's Orchard (a used clothing chain) and bulk clothing I've gotten off craigslist are just as cute as my Gymboree indulgences.  I may not give up on Gymboree entirely, especially buying larger sizes at their end of season sales.  My daughter already has some great clothes for next summer at fire sale prices, both used and new.

And while I'm not a fan of used stuffed animals, any toy that can be washed clean is fair game at yard sales.  New toys are often not worth the price.  And our local 'used book superstore' has been a great source of children's books cheap.

When you can't buy, borrow.  Our high chair is being borrowed from my sister, and I've gotten other loaner items as well.  Kids go through gear pretty fast, so it's worth not spending too much.  That said, a notable exception is a pack n play - that's worth owning.  We used it when she was an infant in our room, and since we travel a fair bit, it's already earned it's keep.

Kids can be expensive...but they are also worth every penny.

The Local Food Project

Last summer, I had a disappointing garden year.  Intense rain, the fact that we were late to the planting season after working to build out the first three garden beds (of a planned 7-8) and pregnancy exhaustion meant that our yield was only so-so.  We managed to freeze some homemade salsa, roast some peppers, and have a few salads from our garden, but that was really about it.  

This year isn't going to be much better.  While we do have a garden planted, it's pretty small - some potatoes, tomatoes, kale, and a few other things.  We didn't start any of it ourselves, despite me being proactive about buying seeds before our daughter came along.  Thankfully, most seeds last for multiple years (and often even increase germination rates) as long as they are stored in a cool, dry place, so we're all prepared for next year. Instead, my sister and parents took pity on our sleep-deprived selves and gave us some seedlings.  

But similar rains this past June, making Massachusetts feel like a temperate rain forest, rotted many of those seedlings.  

And the remaining garden beds will have to wait another year, as will a chicken coop and chickens, our next sustainable living project.  We have some critical house projects that need to get started now that I'm back to work.  So that means that we won't be providing very much of our own food this year.  

And after an experiment with a CSA that just didn't work that well for us, I was back to the drawing board.  But food price increases are making a local diet harder.  

The downside of living in a high-population, high cost of living area in the current economy is that local food is expensive - far more so than last year.  I mean it's really expensive.  A quart of organic strawberries from the local farmstand, in season?  $6.59.  Local beef?  $8-$11 a pound. Local chicken?  $20 for a whole chicken.  A head of lettuce?  $4.

Ouch.

Since our total grocery budget (this includes personal care and cleaning supplies), not including diapers and baby supplies, is about $400-450.00 per month right now, it's clear that shopping at our local farmstand is perhaps not the most financially sustainable option.  It's still a part of our shopping repertoire, but isn't replacing the grocery store.

The farm stand does have a co-op for a cost of $50 a year, and I'm mulling over giving it a try. There's a 129-page abbreviated text catalog that I need to go through first, just to make sure there's foods that we would eat that make the purchases worth our while.

Still, local is important to us.  And so is growing our own food, now that there are signs that perhaps, someday, our 5 month old daughter will sleep more.  There's still time for a late summer garden, and some fall lettuces.

I've found a local beef farm about 2 hours away that sells in bulk, and my parents are talking about going in with us.  My older sister, in upstate NY, is willing to raise us meat chickens, and we still have some from the last batch she raised.   I make it to the farmstand about once or twice a month now, which is far less than I would like, but it will have to do for now.

With the cost of local food going up so high, it means that we're going to have to focus more on what we can grow.  So we're adding some more strawberry plants and a couple peach trees this year, and then next spring we'll break ground on the remaining 5 garden beds, and start up on the chicken coop.  It's my hope by July of 2010 we'll have chickens helping us on bug patrol, and finally that big garden we dream of.  

In the meantime there's the farmstand and the grocery store, and the occasional donation of fresh produce from family - and that will have to do.  It's not my preferred way of doing things, but it is what works now.

Does Using Cheaper Ingredients Mean Lower Quality Meals?

The other day, I was making a chicken meal in my crockpot.  As I pulled out the $2.39 bottle of white cooking wine, and the dried-instead-of-fresh basil, I started thinking about the cost of ingredients vs. the quality of food. 

I'm all about good food.  I have 2 shelves of cookbooks  - and I use them (or at least, I use them when I'm not utterly sleep deprived).  I love to cook, and I have no problem spending lots of time in the kitchen when I have the time to do so. 

But I do often cut corners on ingredients when I feel it's appropriate.  For instance, if wine was a key component of a sauce, I'll use decent wine.  If it's deglazing a pan of stuff that is then going to be cooked in the crockpot for 5 or 6 hours, the cooking wine will do.  Any qualities of the better wine would be lost in the sauce - literally.  

It's the same with things that offer similar flavor.  The particular recipe I was making called for adding kalamata olives to the recipe.  While they were a late addition, because they were being cooked in, a $3.29 jar of them had the same effect as $6 or so worth from the olive bar.  I could have done it cheaper but I sprang for the pitted kind, since I hate picking olive pits out of food.

Had the olives been part of an appetizer spread, I would have gone with the good stuff.  And having made the recipe with both jarred and olive bar-esque olives, I can honestly say there was no difference.

I usually try to make the recipe as called for the first time out.  That's my baseline.  I want to know exactly what it tastes like as called for.   After that, I start making modifications.  Little ones, at first.  Less salt, more oregano, olive oil instead of butter, that sort of thing.  Once I have the levels of ingredients to my liking, then I go further.  Skip this, add that instead.  And I always try a cheaper option 

Why am I so systematic about it?  Because I want to be sure that we're eating what tastes best.  And because cookbooks are the one exception I make to my 'no writing in books' rule.  I add notes to the pages of recipes I've made.  I love finding used cookbooks with notes in them.  And I always try the advice the notes give - someone took the time to tell their future selves, and those who come later how the recipe tastes best.  Of course, it's all subjective, and sometimes I don't love the advice given.  But often, it's the variation on the original recipe that is top notch.  

Someday, either when my daughter gives the cookbooks away after my death, or uses them for herself, someone is going to open them up and see my notes, assuming they just don't go to some trash bin.  I think that's kind of cool - that while 'The Best Recipe' has a great recipe for meatballs, I think I took it up a notch, to the really best recipe.  At least for me.  Everyone has different taste buds. 

So do cheaper ingredients make for lesser quality meals?  Sure, sometimes.  I do prefer fresh herbs, or ones we've dried ourselves (my husband is the herb-drying rock star in our home). But if there's a choice between $5 worth of dubiously fresh basil from the store or the dried, I'll often choose the dried and see if I like it.  It's always worth a try.  And since food budgets are one of the largest variable costs for most of us, it's worth it.

Unemployment Redux

This past January 31st, I left work for my maternity leave.  It was the first time I'd been jobless since I was 15 years old - a pretty scary idea, even though we'd saved and planned for it.

I had 2 weeks off before Baby MoneyPenny arrived, and then settled into my maternity leave and new parenthood.

When I was 7 weeks postpartum, my job called and asked if I would come back part time to get a project I'd worked on earlier over the finish line.  They offered to be flexible with my schedule, and pay for my Mom to come on a business trip with Kiera so that I wouldn't have to leave her. 

It was an offer too good to refuse, so I went back to work a few days later.  Since my sister is my primary daycare provider, having an erratic schedule worked, and I don't have to worry about losing a daycare slot or paying for a full-time slot.  I ended up working between 14 and 25 hours a week, with the week of my business trip being the only 40+ hour week.

But then May 31st rolled around, and the contract ended.  While I'm in the interview process for a new job, and am continuing the hunt, I'm back at home.  

We're lucky.  And we employ foresight.  Between savings and unemployment, we can afford for me to be out of work for a good long while before having to worry.  And yet, I am worried - not because we can't make ends meet, or because I don't think I'll get the job I'm currently interviewing for, but because I'm now torn between home and work (and will be for the next 18 years).  It's no longer clean for me - if I work, I leave my daughter.  If I am home, I want to be working.  

I'll still go back to work - I am not cut out to be a stay at home parent, nor is our budget cut out for it.  Which is fine, it's the choice we made. 

Over the last couple years, since we bought our home, I have been pulled between wanting to do all the renovations we desire for the home (buying a fixer-upper that requires everything from wiring to windows will do that to a person) and wanting to save every penny.  And all this while still enjoying ourselves.  

I think we've struck a good balance.  We've done some renovations, plan to do more this year, and have saved well.  I may have a crack in the old, ugly entryway flooring, but I have a healthy bank balance.  And the flooring will go, hopefully sooner than later.

It's been hard to watch friends renovate with abandon, but I'm grateful for the choices we've made.  It means I can sit here and play with my daughter guilt-free.  For now.